I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize