I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I think im going to throw up on grandma
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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