This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
