Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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