Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
