I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize