no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
