You're my little dorito
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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