Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Too much gin, very little bucket
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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