apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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