Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
