Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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