Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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