They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize