This is not my ceiling
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
