so that wasnt chicken after all
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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