It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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