i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
