My cat gives me a boner
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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