hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
