i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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