the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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