Everything about him screamed your future.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
