Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
now i know why i became what i already was.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
