The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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