Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize