guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
