I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
