Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
