haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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