His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize