In the future we'll all be gay
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Fuck me I smell like cheese
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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