All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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