This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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