theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
