I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
