I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
