I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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