ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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