My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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