Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
