id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
