Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
