Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
