if i can run in heels then i can drive
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
