How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
