Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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