dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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