every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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