your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
