life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
