dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
