You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
