Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
