oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
