i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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