the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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