I love black thongs
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
