I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
