He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
