How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
